Dating man 18 years older
I’ve heard so many different rules about dating someone older, and they all boil down to a magic number: “Don’t date anyone more than ten years older,” or “Marriages never work if there’s more than fifteen years’ difference.” People love rules, telling themselves that abiding by them will cause them to get hurt less. The most important rule to follow is a general one: Make sure the two of you have the same goals for the relationship and for your daily life together. Think about whether you want to get married; have a big or tiny wedding; have children; be with someone who already has kids; live in the future in the same town or city where you’ve been dating; move somewhere far or close; have extended family very involved or not very involved in your life; have a relationship where you socialize almost always together or often; have a partner who’s more of a social butterfly or homebody; and have a partner who is very involved or not very involved in extracurricular activities. Psychological Age You’ve probably heard someone say, “He seems young for his age,” or “She’s so young at heart.” Though we all have a chronological age, we also have what I refer to as a ‘psychological age.’ How old do you feel, for example? In addition, ask yourself what the psychological age is of your prospective older partner. Again, use those early months of a relationship to gauge whether your sexualities are congruent enough.
Don’t embrace any rigid rule about age differences. Don’t be fooled into thinking that just because someone is older, he or she isn’t very sexual.
Are you always up for something fun and spontaneous?
Do you like to feel the occasional rush of adrenaline and stimulation?
In the end, falling in love with someone significantly older can be one of the most rewarding experiences in your life – or one of the most frustrating.
Though compatibility factors are important for any relationship, the stakes are even higher for relationships with major age discrepancies.
After the wedding of a celebrity husband and his much younger wife, media coverage invariably focuses on the inappropriateness of the age gap.
Whether it’s the new dad George Clooney (56) and his 18-year-younger wife, Amal, or Donald Trump (70) and his First Lady, Melania (age 47), commentators become psychoanalysts, suggesting that the younger woman is clearly seeking a father figure.
According to the attachment theory perspective, people’s adult relationships reflect the way they were treated by their caregivers.Think about friends, acquaintances, work colleagues, and even extended family members with whom you socialize.Now, insert a significantly older partner in that picture.Women who need the security of a father figure would, from this point of view, have been poorly cared for by their own fathers, as reflected in later seeking security from an older male.Skentelbery and Fowler therefore sought to compare AGR women with those in SARs (same-age relationships).